Gulp~

It's already 6th June. 3 days away from entering the world of 30s.. Hahaha...

As usual, i have this perasaan yang bercampur baur.. 

Happy.. Coz' it's my birthday.. who not? haha

Grateful.. For being granted by Allah to live & celebrate for another year..

Scared.. I'm a year older but not a year wiser.. 

Numb.. For no reason, just numb... and it has been going since Jan.. knowing this year will be my 30th birthday...

Some people say, age is just a number. But, i do take age seriously.. Haha.. yeah rite.. But, i'd imagine myself at 30 before. And, she looked different in my imagination, especially the size. Hehe... i dunno. I hope, one day i will wake up from this auto-mode & start living. Maybe it's because i'm preggie & feel lethargic most of the time, that i didn't find anything exciting, except reading novel & drawn in my imagination. 

I watched a video yesterday during training. It was a commercial showing that it doesn't matter how long you live but it's how you live your life & make it most meaningful.. InsyaAllah... there are much more i wanna achieved in my life. And they also said, women look best in their 30s. :) (Hopefully it applies to me as well... Ngeee) 

Conflict is when you've family, your personal goal may not be the number one goal anymore.. I'm dealing with this situation right now. It's not that i'm not happy with my life... No. I'm a lot happier today than i was before... It just.. priorities changed. And i'm yet to accept / redha this fact. :( Sigh.. hopefully, i can inject some sense before 9th June.. Hahah... 

Braving along this path...