Monday, March 9, 2015

Hey There!

Hye there... My last post was in 2013! That was 2 years ago man! Hehehe

I am on leave today. Yesterday, was an anniversary of MH370 missing. I still remember it very clearly. I had an appointment with my beautiful doctor (no, she's not a beautician - she's a breast surgeon) that day, and she told me that her neighbors were among the passengers. Ya Allah! I just had a whatsapp message saying that the plane was safely landed in China. And I eagerly told her about it! Talked about irresponsible message transporter! Instead of verifying the news, i just passed the message to her. 

And, since then.. Without failed, I would be in front of TV at Mama's for Astro Awani at 5.30pm when they update the progress of Search & Rescue mission. It was a year ago.... I pray that one day, the truth will prevail. But I'm afraid, at this rate of plane issues with Malaysia, when that news come out, we'll hope that the news stay uncovered. Nah.. it's only me and my imagination.. Haha... 

And, it was also more than a year ago, when I first discovered I had a breast cancer. Her-2 type, and Alhamdulillah, Stage 1. I can't describe exactly how was my feeling when I received the news. You know, the in denial stage, angers, regrets/bargaining, depression, acceptance. Those 5 stages of sadness. Alhamdulillah, The Most Almighty Allah, The Most Forgiveful, The Most Full of Rahmah. I get through all 4 phases like a brief.. I recovered (Alhamdulillah, all thanks & syukur are for Him) fast enough to start my treatment & pursue for healthy lifestyle. 

I had full mastectomy with tram flap reconstruction (Yeah, go & google it. hehe) And after that, another minor surgery to check on my lymph nodes under my armpit (forget the medical name for it already. Haha) And 1 month after all the surgeries, I had my third surgery to plant the chemo port & the next day started my 6 cycles of 3 medicine chemotheraphy + 11 cycles of herceptin chemotheraphy. I just finished my last cycle on 27th Feb 2015. Alhamdulillah. So far, given my age & Allah's help i get through all the treatment smoothly. With very minimal affect, I can continue with my daily activity as normal. After 2 months & my second week of second cycle of chemotheraphy, I already hit the office. Ahaha.. And had only a week of rest after every chemo. Oh, yeah the normal cycle for breast cancer is every 3 weeks. So, for the first 6 cycles, i had 1 week rest, 1 full + 4 days working. Cause my treatments were on Friday. Easier like that. And after the 6 cycles, I just took a leave on Friday the treatment day. Other than that, Alhamdulillah my body can still keep up with my normal activity. It just I easily feel tired & sometimes, my body ache.

Ya Allah. Betapa Allah itu Maha Penyayang. Frankly, I'm not a very good person, let alone pious. When this happened to me, I'd think (before the news) that I might be in a depression period and can't keep up with life. Tapi... Ya Allah... Tapi... Allah bagi kekuatan tu dengan tak disangka... And I'm not alone. Everyone... I mean, not even one of my close family members, office colleagus & friends that not going through this together with me. Subhanallah... Their support is beyond words. Ini nikmat yang Allah bagi, memang tak dapat nak cari lain. 

My husband, who went to the doctor with me & received the news together with me. He's in denial mode even longer than me. But, his love. Ya Allah... If you look at us in normal day, you won't believe how he treated my since then. This is what we call Jodoh Allah yang tentukan. If I were to marry other guys, I can't think they could treat me like Ted had. Ya Allah, thank you Allah for him. :)

My family. We kept it from them, until 2 weeks before the surgery. Just because, I don't want them to worried about me. It was until, Mama told us she & Papa were going to Indonesia for a holiday and the date is on the day after my surgery, that we need to tell them. Hehe.. And tak payah cakap la kan Mama macam mana. Papa, he's quite but I can still feel his concern and everything. Since then, every appointment they went with me. Huhu... Ya Allah, tak terbalas. Tak tau sempat ke tak nak balas semua ni.. Angah! Ya Allah.. My sister, slept with me in the hospital since day 1. Ya Allah... Iskk.. Nak nangis la ni.. Nini & Abang and the family also like that. Datang hari-hari to the hospital & Markas Mama. I was in the hospital for 10 days the first time. 

My colleague.. My closest friends... Syikin & Yan. Ya Allah. They were the ones that urges me to go to the clinic & have a check. Kalau ikutkan memang takut & yeah, in denial. Hehe. The symptoms were all there, tapi sebab takut. And they never left me for the rest of this journey. They prayed for me! Doakan kesihatanku. Ya Allah.... They even cried & worried together with me. Yan, syikin, elis & k linda - they visited me for every 3 surgery i had. Ya Allah, terhutang budi sangat.. Next, my boss. He knew about my health since after I get the news, for it easier for us to arrange my work & task. And he did just beyond that, he together with some other friends arranged for Solat Hajat & bacaan Yassin during my surgery. Ya Allah... Alhamdulillah. Tak terbalas semuanya.... Ya Allah.. Tak tahu nak cakap macam mana... My ex-schoolmate, my ex-colleagues, my ex-boss, all yang tahu semuanya mendoakan kesihatan aku.. Ya Allah... Tak tahulah macam mana nak cakap... 

So, women out there. Don't be afraid to do your check up, regularly. If you detected it earlier, Insya Allah, we could work on it. Yang penting, doa! Doa tu kekuatan umat Islam, not only during perang.. Usaha. Support from our love ones, from everybody around us. Yeah, dalam sejuta tu, there will be seorang dua yang negative. Don't focus on them, just focus on the positive ones. Because, you need to stay positive! Everything happened for a reason, ada hikmah disebalik kesusahan. I remember my oncologist said "You have no reason not be positive!" 

Next, insya Allah I'll share on my treatment & my healthy lifestyle now. Hahaha... healthy sangat sambil munching chocolate Hershey's. 

2 comments:

Dewi Aja said...

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Jika ya, silahkan kunjungi website ini www.kumpulbagi.com untuk info selengkapnya.

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Aini Shah said...

Hi babe, I came across your blog and I enjoyed reading your amazing stories. Interested to collaborate? Email me at nurul.aini@my.zalora.com I couldn't find your email so I am leaving a comment to u. Hope to hear soon. Thanks! Ps: this is NOT a spam yah haha :)

 
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