H.y.p.e.r.v.e.n.t.i.l.a.t.i.n.g

I was hyperventilating this morning for waking up and it's 5th May 2009 already!! huawaaaa... how time travels real fast (and furiously) these days... huhuhuhu... it's 5 months left now... and aku masih meraba2 disini... and still 9 kg heavier.. huuuwaaa nak nangis...

Bleh tak tetibe nak rase tak ready? huhuhu... Yes, i'm ready to move to the new stage of my life... (and move on..) and by thinking that i will have my own house and get the chance to buy 'barang rumah' on my own thrilled me... hehe... but..... am not ready to leave mama's house (and the homemade food =P).. not ready to leave my cozy room... not ready to leave the hiruk-pikuk kat umah tu... and not ready to leave the wireless + astro.. huhu... ntahla... not ready to be grown up and having someone else as family in my medical card... ishhh.. da besarla...

I'm afraid to be in a new family circle... afraid to have to think for 2 families instead of 1... afraid to having to call someone's mom & dad as maa & abah instead of mak cik n pak cik... afraid for not being able to be the good m*n*ntu (auch).. afraid of having to give duit raya to more sisters, brothers, cousins & nieces & nephews... (haha... harus mengepau nih tahun depan...)... ishhh... haperlaa...

These days, i come back from work early almost everyday (except wednesday: movie day)... rase cam nak slalu je duk kat umah... (nak2 aiman ade kat umah kan...) mama mesti pelik napela achik ni cam baik jer skang kan... hehe... ketahuila... Anak mu ini sedang takut dan dah rase cam nak menggelupur dah nih...

True... I'm counting days for the October to come as soon as possible... but by the end of the day.. before sleeping, i wud be restless forcing the time to stop... which obviously useless.. ntahlah... skang ni adelah mase2 daku mengimbau kejahatan mase lampau... huhuhu... rase bersalah yang amat sangat... Nak mintak maaf kat mama tetibe tgh malam takut mama terperanjat lak... takpe.. raye nnti leh mintak maaf.. huhuhuh... tragis!! this year gonna be the last year for me as a single... leh pau duit raye lagi.. next year? no more... huuuu... Hrmm...
Checklist for the next 5 months:
1. Diet & exercise! I have to be 9 kgs lighter in 5 months... huhuhu.. malasnye... camno..
2. Khatam Quran (again..)
3. Learn 5 more cooking recipes (uppss... 7.. i'm 2 recipes behind schedule... malas lagi)
4. Spa + Sauna... yeahh supaya kulit ku halus dan mulus... wahaha... Kak Niza.. wait for me..
5. Learn how to manage my accounts... yerr my spending as well... huhuhu...
6. Learn more on being a good muslimah... and w**e.. huhu... takut la plak tetibe...
7. Finish all pending dvds at home... (esp brother & sisters s1-3) pasnih confirm tak sempat nak tgk dah... huhuhu...
8. Learn how to be a grown up like the matured grown up... hmm... buat muke serius... 8-)
9. Err... stop eating... yeah..

I tried to share something about the preparation (3 deleted draft-entries) tapi cam klakar... the checklist, what've done, what not, endless-to-do-list.. the mahal-cam-nak-mati-ko-ingat-aku-artis? w package... the snob-sales assistance/receptionist and any other things... but let me save you from the boredoom.. trust me, u dun wanna know.. hehe... i guess one thing i have to learn urgently is to be patient... hmm...

Nggeee... suddenly remember something shweet thing mase kuar jenjalan last Friday.. which we spend mcm orang kaye jer.. (dahla tunjuk je terus dapat) haha... fair enough she (the d&p SA) said it just out to bodek... yelah kitorang dah perabih duit kat kedai hang... but i choose to believe her words.. ngeheh.. dah tu tersengih2 sorang2 along d day.. i never tell him (en ted) though... nnti mesti die malas nak layan aku... yaa... malay guys are not romantic... =P
And another stupid-funny story of klutzy me... tgh2 turun escalator tetibe cam pening... (tau kan camne yang pening siap pusing2 tu) and i almost stumble down the escalator... hahaha... lawak giler... cam meracau2 lak tu... "ehh2 pening2... nak jatuh".. memule panik gakla En Ted ngan brader dpn kitorang nih... pastu cam dah ok... nak kaver malu gua gelak la... kehkehkehkeh... sampai brader yang diri depan tu kitorang sengih2... chiss...

ohhh yeaa... teringat lagi.. nnti lepas ni nak citer pasal kene tax gi jakarta... hehehe...