Hey There!

Hye there... My last post was in 2013! That was 2 years ago man! Hehehe

I am on leave today. Yesterday, was an anniversary of MH370 missing. I still remember it very clearly. I had an appointment with my beautiful doctor (no, she's not a beautician - she's a breast surgeon) that day, and she told me that her neighbors were among the passengers. Ya Allah! I just had a whatsapp message saying that the plane was safely landed in China. And I eagerly told her about it! Talked about irresponsible message transporter! Instead of verifying the news, i just passed the message to her. 

And, since then.. Without failed, I would be in front of TV at Mama's for Astro Awani at 5.30pm when they update the progress of Search & Rescue mission. It was a year ago.... I pray that one day, the truth will prevail. But I'm afraid, at this rate of plane issues with Malaysia, when that news come out, we'll hope that the news stay uncovered. Nah.. it's only me and my imagination.. Haha... 

And, it was also more than a year ago, when I first discovered I had a breast cancer. Her-2 type, and Alhamdulillah, Stage 1. I can't describe exactly how was my feeling when I received the news. You know, the in denial stage, angers, regrets/bargaining, depression, acceptance. Those 5 stages of sadness. Alhamdulillah, The Most Almighty Allah, The Most Forgiveful, The Most Full of Rahmah. I get through all 4 phases like a brief.. I recovered (Alhamdulillah, all thanks & syukur are for Him) fast enough to start my treatment & pursue for healthy lifestyle. 

I had full mastectomy with tram flap reconstruction (Yeah, go & google it. hehe) And after that, another minor surgery to check on my lymph nodes under my armpit (forget the medical name for it already. Haha) And 1 month after all the surgeries, I had my third surgery to plant the chemo port & the next day started my 6 cycles of 3 medicine chemotheraphy + 11 cycles of herceptin chemotheraphy. I just finished my last cycle on 27th Feb 2015. Alhamdulillah. So far, given my age & Allah's help i get through all the treatment smoothly. With very minimal affect, I can continue with my daily activity as normal. After 2 months & my second week of second cycle of chemotheraphy, I already hit the office. Ahaha.. And had only a week of rest after every chemo. Oh, yeah the normal cycle for breast cancer is every 3 weeks. So, for the first 6 cycles, i had 1 week rest, 1 full + 4 days working. Cause my treatments were on Friday. Easier like that. And after the 6 cycles, I just took a leave on Friday the treatment day. Other than that, Alhamdulillah my body can still keep up with my normal activity. It just I easily feel tired & sometimes, my body ache.

Ya Allah. Betapa Allah itu Maha Penyayang. Frankly, I'm not a very good person, let alone pious. When this happened to me, I'd think (before the news) that I might be in a depression period and can't keep up with life. Tapi... Ya Allah... Tapi... Allah bagi kekuatan tu dengan tak disangka... And I'm not alone. Everyone... I mean, not even one of my close family members, office colleagus & friends that not going through this together with me. Subhanallah... Their support is beyond words. Ini nikmat yang Allah bagi, memang tak dapat nak cari lain. 

My husband, who went to the doctor with me & received the news together with me. He's in denial mode even longer than me. But, his love. Ya Allah... If you look at us in normal day, you won't believe how he treated my since then. This is what we call Jodoh Allah yang tentukan. If I were to marry other guys, I can't think they could treat me like Ted had. Ya Allah, thank you Allah for him. :)

My family. We kept it from them, until 2 weeks before the surgery. Just because, I don't want them to worried about me. It was until, Mama told us she & Papa were going to Indonesia for a holiday and the date is on the day after my surgery, that we need to tell them. Hehe.. And tak payah cakap la kan Mama macam mana. Papa, he's quite but I can still feel his concern and everything. Since then, every appointment they went with me. Huhu... Ya Allah, tak terbalas. Tak tau sempat ke tak nak balas semua ni.. Angah! Ya Allah.. My sister, slept with me in the hospital since day 1. Ya Allah... Iskk.. Nak nangis la ni.. Nini & Abang and the family also like that. Datang hari-hari to the hospital & Markas Mama. I was in the hospital for 10 days the first time. 

My colleague.. My closest friends... Syikin & Yan. Ya Allah. They were the ones that urges me to go to the clinic & have a check. Kalau ikutkan memang takut & yeah, in denial. Hehe. The symptoms were all there, tapi sebab takut. And they never left me for the rest of this journey. They prayed for me! Doakan kesihatanku. Ya Allah.... They even cried & worried together with me. Yan, syikin, elis & k linda - they visited me for every 3 surgery i had. Ya Allah, terhutang budi sangat.. Next, my boss. He knew about my health since after I get the news, for it easier for us to arrange my work & task. And he did just beyond that, he together with some other friends arranged for Solat Hajat & bacaan Yassin during my surgery. Ya Allah... Alhamdulillah. Tak terbalas semuanya.... Ya Allah.. Tak tahu nak cakap macam mana... My ex-schoolmate, my ex-colleagues, my ex-boss, all yang tahu semuanya mendoakan kesihatan aku.. Ya Allah... Tak tahulah macam mana nak cakap... 

So, women out there. Don't be afraid to do your check up, regularly. If you detected it earlier, Insya Allah, we could work on it. Yang penting, doa! Doa tu kekuatan umat Islam, not only during perang.. Usaha. Support from our love ones, from everybody around us. Yeah, dalam sejuta tu, there will be seorang dua yang negative. Don't focus on them, just focus on the positive ones. Because, you need to stay positive! Everything happened for a reason, ada hikmah disebalik kesusahan. I remember my oncologist said "You have no reason not be positive!" 

Next, insya Allah I'll share on my treatment & my healthy lifestyle now. Hahaha... healthy sangat sambil munching chocolate Hershey's. 

Oh Mann!! I Lost my Phone!

Benda paling paling paling menyampah bila hilang phone.......

1) Contact List - Arrghh.. kena carik balik satu2... Dang!

2) Gambarr & Video - I have thousands of pics & videos of my kids... don't you know childhood only came once??

3) Lagu - Penat tau tak nak download balik... 

4) Game - Word Games guaa... Dah level tinggi2 sekali kena restart... ahhh.. luckily candy crush sync dengan FB.. 

5) Notes - I'm a human Dory (Watch Finding Nemo).. I forgot almost everything, it's lucky i still remember my name & married with kids.. hahaha... So, i practically put down all my thoughts, my to-do list, my berangan list (oh dang! did you read it THIEF?), my anger, my mood swing, my debts (hah.. now you know my debts, why not u pay it for me please...), my work related thingy (now i need to crack my head again!) Luckily i didn't put any account no or password in it.. 

6)  Account setting/Password - FB, Instagram, Gmail, Office mail... uhhh... kena tukar.. 

7) Whatsapp - Gossip Woih.. i'm the person yang tak suka clear whatsapp chat... dengan banyak group.. gossip pun banyakler.. so, nah amek sekali dosa gossip.. hahaha... 

huhu.. itu je yang paling menyampah yang teringat sekarang... huhuuh... 
malas dah nak beli smart phone (sambil mengharapkan En Ted bermurah hati blanjer).. pakai je ape yang ade dulu.. ahaha.. eh boleh ker? :P 

Cepat uolss buat derma kilat Note 3 + Gear untuk i... hahahaha

Hey there

Hey there... It's' been ages since I wrote in here... Simply because I dun have the energy to open my laptop after my kids sleeping.. And also because I didn't get my mojo on writing yet... Heheh.. So now I have my new gadget.. I will try to blog more.. Just to keep my mind working... Hhih

Seriously... Being a mom of two teach me a lot... Now my struggles is to lose my weight (20kilos of that)... And to give my kids their best childhood memories.. Yeah.. So there.. Need to sweep the floor while d kids playing in the room.. Bye there...

Baby Q

Huhu... Adik Q never get the spotlight like his sister in here. Sorry baby.. Ever since i had the instagram. i forgot all about blogging.. And mummy put loads of your photos in there..

Cian adik.. he's been having a hard time these few weeks. i dunno is it adjusting time or what..
Starting with diarrhea pastu dah ok, batuk pulak, then repeat diarrhea, then now, he just recovered from measles.. but the coughing are still here... Been thinking of bringing him to hospital, but we give until this Sunday if still not ok then APSH here we come!

Adik currently starting to crawl.. baru 3 langkah ke depan.... sooo cute! Muahh Adik Q.. nnt mummy ade mase & motivasi, mummy akan update pasal u yer.. :)

Hello testing

Testing.. It wud be easier to update my blog now.. Hahaha..

Hope...

Hi There...
2012 last in few hours.. Then, we'll be entering 2013.
Huhuh.. To the 'Doomsday Preppers'.. Gud Luck & Continue with your preparation.. hehe :P

Papa will be 63 tomorrow! Happy Birthday Papa :)
Me & Ted will turned 31 next year..

 2012 taught me life. Taught me lesson of Life.. Many things happened in 2012..
Good & Not-so-Good..
Haa.. Iqram was born last September 2012! Hi Iqram! :) Hahaha.. Padahal hari2 jumpa kat rumah...
Our salary been upgraded.. Haha.. Alhamdulillah. :) More money coming means we have to save more... My debt to Mama was done this December! Yeay.. Alhamdulillah.. Finally 1 hole closed, another few to go.. Hahaha... Mann!!

I managed to go to the BBW on the 1am final Sunday.. My takes for next year: Visit earlier & without Kids. We went the final weeks and with Iman.. ohh.. most fav /popular titles were gone & i can't concentrate searching the books.. Hehehe..

We managed to fill in 2 boxes, (except for A Doctor in The House & The Extermination Years)

Okay, my hope in 2013...
1. To be all positive! (Hahaha... Teetttt!!! Cliche!): But it's true.. I need to put all the negative aura and things behind & live my life positively.. I'm done with my misery (hahah!) and ready to move on!
You see... i may not be a pendendam in many things. Tapi there a certain things that leave a deep scar & i found it impossible to forget! Ya Allah.. berikanlah kekuatan kepada hambamu ini.. That's it! 2013 in mind-cleansing year! ahahah

2. To be 16kgs lighter (continue from 3 previous years) (hahaha.. Cliche lagi.. Nexttt!!!) Hahaha... Yupe. Tomorrow will gonna be a starting day for my crash-fullforce-diet program! I'm all In! Bring it On!! hahaha.. After Iqram was born, i managed to get my pre-Iqram weight.. even 3 kgs lesser.. but my pre-Iman's weight that my ultimate dream! Please... let it materialised in April 2013!

3. To finally have home. We've been searching high & low for a new house to buy. But, either the house is like retak menanti belah, or the area or the price!! Sigghh!! Only last year, when our loan can only go for RM250k, the house price is RM350k.. Now that our loan can go for RM600k, the price jumped to RM590-700k!! Hellooowww!! how can we keep up and buy a house? Hahaha... Damn u property agents.. you messed up with the house price! We aimed to buy the house by this year.. and that's mean by April 2013 also!

Ok, 3 are enough.. Hahaha... eh ade lagi satu...

4. Holiday!! We extremely need a holiday next year. This year kite duduk diam2.. next year harus pegi jenjalan!! Hahahaha... Where to? Still on the our un-decided list...

Patching Things Up...

Some says.. There always a rainbow after the rain..
Dalam Islam pun menyebut, setiap kesusahan akan dibalas dengan kesenangan..
Aminn..

Alhamdulillah.. last month was the worst month in my life.. Even worst from last year.. I dunno.. I wish I could say, Wake me up when November ends..

Alhamdulillah... I can finally accept the fact.. But, the healing process takes time.. longer than i thought..
As the scars are deeper, it definitely takes some effort to patch things up.. I do Thank Allah for this test. For I may take things for granted. Now, I will always open my eyes and try to do my best for our life.

It hurts a lot and it eating me inside.... I pray that one day, some day, this things will slipped away from my mind and I'll be okay 100% and learn to trust & put hope again..
Until then, I'm gonna live my life as it is.. Huhu.. Now the rain has stopped, i'm waiting for the rainbow and sun to shine.. :)

Tapi.. betullah... Sebesar mana pun dugaan hidup kita.. besar lagi dugaan umat Islam di Gaza..
So, it's nothing compared to what they faced in their daily life..

Al-Fatihah & Pray for all Muslims in Gaza. :)

Listening to the unsung lyrics

Wish i don't have to be here forever,
Wish i could erase this feeling ever,
The feel i'm feeling right now, 
Oh just makes me wanna go down.

Wish i could be by myself,
In my own fantasy world,
Wish i could be strong,
Never had to shed a tear. 

Listening to the unsung lyrics
Was the hardest 
Cause' ur lips could do the tricks
But it's not what u feel the most

I wish this would not be the chorus
I wish this is just a bridge
For a better us..
For whatever it would be..

Let me here by myself,
listening to the unsung lyrics... 

stay in the clouds... :)

Can I please stay in the clouds forever?

‘Cause I really like it here

If they can see what I can see

If they can hear what I can hear

If only they can see what I can see

They would really like it here

Just look at everything in front of you

Then look from above

Come and please stay in the clouds forever

You would really like it here

by: Zee Avi

Adjusting..

My new role as.. a mummy of two.. :)
Kadang2.. bila bangun tido, tergelak sensorang. How i did i get here?
I'm a clumsy / careless / forgetful person.. How can i take care of my babies.. Hehe..
Tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah maha Kaya.. despite of what i am, tak pernah lagi aku terlupa pasal baby. Kihkih.. Pernah jadi kat kawan Ted, diorang dah bersiap nak pergi kenduri, sekali baby tertinggal kat dalam.. T_T nasib baik tak start kereta lagi dah teringat.. hehe.. aduihh..

Sekarang ni, definitely kena double up my speed of doing my tasks. And of course double my patient.. Baru start kemas, kakak iman dah main sepah2. Baru nak buat kerja, adik q dah nangis nak susu. Baru nak makan, adik nangis nak dokong, kakak ajak main. Hehe. Mmg kejam, but on weekdays i have to send kakak to school. Kalau tak memang tak berkemas la rumah ni. Alhamdulillah jugak papa rajin tolong. Almaklumlah, sejak bersalin 2 kali ni makin cepat terlupa. Setiap hari bangun pagi kena buat mental note untuk 'to do list'. Kalau tak, rasa macam takde benda nak buat, skali rupanya banyak benda tak buat lagi. Aduih.. maybe 2 kali bersalin, banyak urat ingatan dah terputus.. haha..

As a bf mummy, lagilah routine bertukar.. Kena allocate at least 40 mins x 4 times untuk pumping session. itupun slalu kantoi.. Haiyohh.. itupun still rasa macam tak cukup stock utk after naik kerja.. iskkk.. ini pun dah start campur formula milk, huhu.. tapi only kalau keluar lelama pergi banyak tempat.. huhu.. Ya Allah, tabahkan hati hambamu ini.

Lepas ni lagi kena adjust as a working mummy of two. Hopefully boleh adjust secepat mungkin. Takkan hari2 nak pegi keje ngan mata panda.. dahla tengah banyak keja skang ni.. kesian my team kat opis.. kena cover my part. huhu.. harapan nak rehat.. jangan terlalu berharap.. haha.. ok q dah bangun babai..

Happy Anniversary Encik Ted :)

We began as strangers. We become friends. We became one with each other... 
Wish We'll remain as one forever until Jannah. 

How wonderful to have you in my life! All my feelings whirl about my heart!
Perhaps I can't contain that I'm your wife; Perhaps I don't know how or where to start.

You have me always, no matter what you do: A gift I give my gift, joyously.
Nothing means as much to me as you; Nothing else so fully makes me, me.

Happy 3rd Anniversary, Luv :)

Please know, u always.. always have my heart..
I can be very challenging for you to handle.. but thank you for always be there for me.. 
I love u.. huhu..

3 years and counting :)

Alhamdulillah.. Insya Allah tomorrow will be our 3rd wedding anniversary..
Too bad Ted will be going for outstation meeting tomorrow till Thursday :P Kejam u boss! haha..

2010 - Celebration with Lil Iman :)
2011 - Mini Celebration @ Costa Cafe, Bath, UK :)
2012 - Celebration with Lil Iman & Lil Q :) Insya Allah..

Esok lah citer lagi.. hari ni nak layan perasaan boss die kejam suh out station lelame.. huh!

On a positive note.. Today is day 40.. Another 4 days to go.. after that.. Merdeka.. Yahhooo!! Hahaha.. Tak sabar nak balik rumah.. bila dah ade rumah sendiri (walaupun kecik & rumah sewa), balik umah mak pun dok teringat rumah sendiri kan.. huhu...  

Road to Teh Ais - Day 35

9 days to go.. hikhikhik..
I know some people berpantang ais up to 100 days and some up to 1 year.. But i dun think i'm tough enough to follow that... Heheh.. InsyaAllah depend on baby q.. If he's ok with me drinking ice, then it means i'll definitely stop pantang at 44 days.. hahaha.. if not, then i'll berpantang until i stop breastfeeding him...
Hahah keyakinan tinggi.. Ya Allah... tetapkan keazaman ku untuk breastfeed Lil Iqram sehingga 2 tahun.. jangan aku patah semangat macam mase kakaknye dulu.. Amin.. hehe

Kali ni punya berpantang.. xterasa sangat.. cuma mengira mase tu yang rase lame... hehe.. Time ni lah rase masa berputar agak slow.. walaupun, eh eh dah hari Rabu & lagi 9 hari nak abeh pantang.. hehe...
Overall Baby q dah ade patern/routine sendiri.. huhu.. paling mummy tak sanggup, siang tido (best sbb mummy leh buat keje i.e tgk tv, bace buku, online) and malam kang kul 10 - 2 pagi die pun segar biji mate... Kalau sihat die tak banyak ragam.. terkebil2 mate pandang mummy/siling.. budak2 kan suke pandang atas.. kalau perasan aku 'raup' mate die suh pandang depan.. hehe.. kalau tgh tak sihat tu 'ek..ek..ek'.. huhu.. pastu tido mesti nak atas tangan mummy.. abehlah balik umah nnt macam mane la dengan akak lagi... takkan papa nak kene tido bawah macam kat umah wema kot.. hehehe... kesianlah mummy ngan papa.. :P

Benda yang i baru discover tapi xsure.. baby macam sensitive to dairy product.. kalau aku minum milo 3-in-1 or makan cheese, mesti die buang air cair.. huhu.. wahhh mummy ade harapan nak kurusla kalau tak minum susu & amek cheese.. hahaha.. :P tapiii kalau lactose intolerance.. bermakna.. kena fully breastfeed and kalau nak campur formula pun kene isomil.. hurm.. takpe kita monitor dulu macam mane.. hehe.. tapiii lagi.. minum susu enfalac kene sembelit pulak.. Aduihh.. cabaran sungguh. Takpelah.. janji anak mummy sihat    :)

Berpantang kali ni aku bertungku 3 hari jer. kahkahkah.. itupun sbb makcik urut tu bawak tungku die.. tungku kat umah ni dah kena baling, haha.. nk beli tungku moden tunggu papa baby nak beli dari start pantang sampai ke hari 35 tak nampak bayang lagi.. kihkih.. jadi aku pasrah jelah pakai param ngan losyen panas... Alhamdulillah setakat lenguh2 jelah.. takpe, lepas pantang nnt nak mandi sauna.. kihkih.. Param & pilis dipakai dengan jayanya.. Jamu baru makan sehari tapi pastu baby cam sakit perut (tak pasti sbb susu enfalac/me minum 3-in-1 ke sbb jamu) sbb time tu semua2 ni pun makan.. jadiknya nak monitor dulu.. Kesian baby, dah 3 hari sakit perut.. nak kentut je muke dah start cam menteri pasola.. sembelit lagi.. tadi pegi klinik, amek ubat colic, pastu doc suruh teruskan breastfeed sehingga baik... Hopefully esok dah baik dah.. lepas ni takleh dah bagi susu enfalac tu dulu... huhu..

Makanan dalam pantang.. breakfast- milo, biskut butter (up sikit dulu makan biskut hup seng jer), n garlic toast sekeping. Lunch - nasik + ikan tenggiri/dory + sayur (kadang2). Teatime cum dinner - biskut & milo. Supper - Biskut & milo. Dengan harapan berat cepat sikit turun.. heheh... Sekarang dah dapat turunkan berat.. before pregnant 76kg. now dah 73.7kg.. Tapi, nak turunkan berat before pregnantkan Lil Iman tu yang masih jauh lagi.. huhuhhh... tulah lemak dah 2 tahun lebih bertapa dalam badan tu yang susah nak ilang tu.. huhu... insyaAllah.. sy positif.. dengan berkat breastfeed ni & doa kengkawan.. saya pasti berjaya.. hahaha.. target 57kgs in 5 months.. 1 month down, another 4month to go.. heheh... hopefully semangat ni kekal laa sampai dapat berat tu,.. haha..

Okielah.. just a quick update.. sekarang dah potong kuku boleh taip dengan pantas.. Ni nak kembali ke alam ibu sedang berpantang.. hehe.. :)

Kekuatan Doa

Huhu.. dihari Jumaat ni, just wanna share something yang sangat terkesan kat aku dalam pregnancy journey kali ni..

Doa.. Sesungguhnya doa adalah kekuatan orang Mukmin..
Alhamdulillah, aku tak alami sebarang complication throughout this pregnancy. Cuma 1.. baby besar/berat.. Hehe.. kesan daripada mummy yang makan tak ingat donia.. Huhu...

Perasan tak dalam last entry, i was supposed to go for induced procedure on the day he born.. But Alhamdulillah, dengan izin-Nya Iqram was born without me going through the procedure..

Entahlah, honestly, i can't remember the last time aku berdoa bersungguh-sungguh macam ni.. Perhaps, masa Mama masuk hospital last couple of years and masa nak exam dulu2... shame me..
Tapi, bila tau je date nak kena induced, start then aku berdoa supaya Allah turunkan miracle.. Ya Allah, betapa aku malu sebenarnya.. Dahla aku ni bukanlah istiqamah sangat beribadah nih.. nak settlekan yang wajib pun kadang2 lambat, kadang2 kantoi.. Tapi sesungguhnya Allah tu Maha Kaya, Maha Pengampun dan Maha Penyayang...

Aku pun tak ingat last time aku berdoa/solat sampai nangis2 camnih... Masa tu, aku ingat lagi.. Setiap kali aku takut, i'll recite Ayatul Qursi.. Pastu baca Yassin everyday, solat Taubat & Hajat.. Baca doa permudahkan bersalin.. Alhamdulillah, Allah makbulkan doa aku untuk go through delivery without induced. Alhamdulillah.. syukur sangat.. Aku buat post ni kali ni bukan ada niat apa2.. just to remind me & perhaps you.. yang sesungguhnya Allah tu ada untuk kita.. Ya Allah.. terima kasih atas pemberian ini & janganlah kau tarik nikmat ini dari kami hamba mu Ya Allah... Semoga aku takkan lupa untuk sentiasa bersyukur & berdoa.. Amin..

Gande 3... [3 (34) pm, 6/9/12]

Iqram decided to make a remarkable entrance to the world.. hehe..
He decided to have a beautiful set of numbers for his birth.. 3.34pm, 6 Sept 2012. Sumer angka ganda 3.. hehe..

Betullah orang cakap.. Different pregnancy holds different stories / journey. Hehe.. tapi yang tu nnt kite kupas dalam siri yang akan datang :P
Today, nak share journey kelahiran Iqram :) Hehe.. Okie, since Lil Iman lahir 38 weeks, so we all mmg prepare mentally Iqram will be coming out earlier as well.
And then, tambahan pulak hari Khamis before Raya aritu i had false alarm.. Pegi hospital, ada contraction tapi it was still early as i was only 34/35 weeks. So, takut pre-matured.. Dr checked, i was only 1cm dilated, tapi uri dah matang and baby pun besar (3.4kgs). Dr suggested to be admitted. Of course la tak nak... dahla nak raye.. huwaa.. Then balik... And be prepared, in case baby keluar during hari raya.. First day raya, makan banyak2.. haha.. apelah.. sbb takut esok dah nak terbranak.. kihkihkih... tak keluar jugak.. hari2 selepas tu dipenuhi dengan makanan... dahla mmg tgh raya, pastu angah nak belanje lagila apelah... and every time aku terasa nak makan something.. akan usahakan jugak sampai dapat.. haha.. and lepas makan cakap.. ok baby lepas ni boleh keluar... hehe... sampai la ke 3/9 still takde jugak tande nak kuar..

3/9 tu 2nd appointment dengan doc after raya.. Doc dah pesan, if tak bersalin lagi then we'll have to see the option.. sbb kalau tunggu full term, takut baby besar (last week it was 3.8kg), tak boleh nak lahir normal.. Ok. Pagi Isnin tu datang kat klinik Doc dgn keputusan.. If my baby is getting bigger, we'll opt for induced for early labour.. Dr check, oh,.. baby berat 3.5kgs (wahhh diet mummy seminggu sblm appointment berjaya!)
So, Dr bagi option.. Wait for another week or induced.. Sbb baby dah matang, revised EDD was 8/9..
Aku dah berbelah bahagi.. orang kate induced tu sakit giler.. it was forced contraction.. ok, dah decide, kalau sakit then i'll take the epidural.. bincang2 dengan Ted, he asked if i wanna induced for early labour.. 8/9 is Saturday, Dr pun suggest kalau 6/9 hari Khamis..ok, deal. Date pun cantik 6/9 it is. I have to check-in wednesday nite tu n pagi akan masuk ubat induced...

Sepanjang balik daripada hospital tu sampaila ke hari Rabu 5/9 tu.. mmg tak berhenti berdoa.. Ya Allah please let it be miracle that the baby wanna come out before the induce procedure... Setiap malam buat solat hajat.. bace yassin & bila takut je bace ayat kursi berulang2 sampai hilang takut... Ntah macam mane, balik kerja hari Rabu tu Ted tanye.. "u kalau taknak induce takpelah.. kite tunggu baby keluar sendiri.." i was like.. fuhh.. tapi takpe ke tak dtg sane mlm ni... masih berpikir2.. at last after solat magrib, decided taknak pegi spital.. takut wwoooo..hahah.. giler kau kene pakse contraction.. sedangkan contraction yang natural pun dah sakit... iskk.. tapi still xputus doa if baby wanna come early.. sbb if by 8/9 tak keluar pun Doc akan discuss what next jugak... Worst, kena operation. huhu.. xnak.. ngeri!

Then, malam tu terus xlalu makan... balik rumah macam biasa... tetibe dlm kul 3am camtu rase sakit mcm senggugut biase... tapi sbbkan aku mmg slalu kena macam ni sepanjang pregnancy kali ni, so aku rase biase.. maybe false alarm lagi.. aku kene urine infection kot nih.. huhu... malas nak kejut Ted. Yelah, banyak kali die cuti tapi aku tak jadi beranak... lagi pun rase die tak kuat sgt and sela masa pun panjang... pagi tu kul 6 kejut Ted. Mintak tolong urutkan perut & pelvic area. Pukul 8lebih tu bangun tido (mmg patut nak cuti haritu sbb patut nak inducekan) rase lagi.. tapi ckp kat Ted.. takpe i pergi dulu.. kalau betul nak beranak i call u.. hehe.. tapi dalam pade nak gosok baju pun aku dok tahan2 sakit mcm senggugut tu... kali ni dah rase kuat sikit... tp still gagah lagi sbb sela mase jauh2... Lepas siap2.. hantar Iman rumah Tokma sbb nk pegi Spital.. Eh.. jap u.. kite g breakfast dulu.. kalo masuk labour room kang dah takleh makan... Pegila makan nasik lemak kerang favorite n air milo panas..

Sampai kat spital, terus masuk labour room.. nurse check.. ok rasenya bersalin hari ni, sbb dah bukak 4/5cm.. wow... time tu kul 10.. tapi... lepas nurse tu kuar.. contraction tak dtg2.. hehe.. sekali je.. lps tu dah diam jer... huhu... nurse bagi ubat lawas and datang check sekejap2.. kalau tak bukak lagi jugak nnt nak masuk ubat cepatkan contraction.. ok..

Pukul 12, baru bukak 6cm.. Okie, nurse pecahkan waterbag.. Time ni nurse tanye, nak tak pain killer.. Nak la kak.. sambil muke high gas.. Hahaha... And then, pukul 1 lebih, nurse datang check.. uiks.. baru 7cm ni.. die pun masukkan ubat cepatkan contraction.. And after that... bermula lah episode contraction datang bertalu2.. by 3 something, nurse dah dtg kemas2 check dah 9cm.. Alhamdulillah Dr. Ariza dah balik meeting.. hehe.. jadi bolehla die sambut baby. If not, kena sambut dengan Dr lelaki (forgot the name).. Malula ii.. hehe..

It was like 5/6 sets of failing push.. haha.. aku lupe nak belajar balik care nak push.. so, salah push.. huhuhu (T_T) last2 sekali minum air sikit pastu ikut cakap nurse and push... Wow.. Alhamdulillah... Rase ade benda panas atas badan... yeahh!! At first pandang baby.. wow.. birat & besar.. hehehe.. lepas nurse dah lap2 sikit.. terus die angkat nak amik ukuran kan... pehh.. it was 4.03kgs and diameter kepala 36cm.. uhuks uhuks.. patutla mummy macam nak pengsan push... tinggi 52cm.. aishh kalah dengan kakak Iman.. tapi xper.. Baby jadik pemain bola ok.. hehe.. Lepas baby dah kuar, nak kena keluarkan uri pulak.. huhu.. dan darah beku.. wah... aku still takut2 lagi.. ehehe.. bile dah settle semua, doc pun jalankan upacara menjahit.. hehe.. wuihh ngeri... corong gas dah kemana.. takleh aku nak sedut... kali ni terasa jugakla die cam tertarik2.. huhuhu...

This time, i decided to breastfeed baby all along.. baby pun sekejap2 nak minum sekejap2 nak minum.. on the second day tu dah nampak tanda nak kuning.. yelah, susu pun xbyk lagi kan.. then on the 3rd day tu mmg hari nak balik.. nursery check baby kena jaundice.. 11.2.. so, boleh decide nak bawak balik ke nak terus admit.. bawak balik dululah... huhu.. so bawakla balik dulu on the Saturday... Monday tu datang balik check, 14.5.. aduhhh.. makin naik.. kita admit jelah baby k.. boleh mummy keluar hari2 nak lawat baby... and baby minum susu formula dulu sbb tak cukup feeding & mummy nk baby cepat balik... hari Selasa, reading 14.6.. Ya Allah.. hari Rabu dah turun balik 10.7.. wow! banyaknye turun.. doc nak monitor lagi.. khamis tu dah 9.6.. yeay.. boleh keluar.. Alhamdulillah.. and now baby dah totally clear from jaundice.. mata pun dah clear.. :)

Baby Q :)

Stress..

Bila tengok citer drama bersiri melayu, tapi producer/script writer/prop manager tak buat proper homework.. haha

Latest citer Adam & Hawa yang Aaron Aziz berlakon kat Perth tu.. huu.. Memula xtgk citer ni sbb die kat Astro Mutiara 134 kan.. Tapi since last Saturday Astro bukak all channel free, dptla nak tengok.

Tibalah ke episod yang Ain dpt tawaran pegi study kat Curtin University..
Adegan yang tidak disengajakan..
1. Pergi study kat Perth, bawak cuma 1 luggage bag yang medium & 1 handbag/backpack kecik.. ok, think positive maybe sbb die kurus so baju kecik & banyak space.. hehe
2. Sampai kat KLIA, member pun bawak cuma 1 luggage yang medium..
3. Sampai kat airport kat Perth.. tetiba ade 3 bag atas troli.. Errk.. beg sape lagi satu tu?
4. Rupanya Ain bawak bear besar die tu.. huhu.. celah mane die masuk kat beg die..

Huwaaa... stress tau tak pikir... dahla tgh dlm pantang nih.. hahaha :P

Separation Anxiety

Since Lil Q - Our newborn baby's name is Iqram Naqiuddin :) - came out, Lil Iman sometime acted like she's 'merajuk' with me.. It's so sad.. On the first day, she even didn't want to hug/kiss me.. :(
And last nite, she slept with her papa at our house in Uk Perdana.. it was the second nite.. the first nite was on Friday last week. On the first nite, i cried when i called her that nite, when i was thinking about her and when she called me the next morning to tell me she's coming to Wema's place. hehe.. I guess, i'm having a separation anxiety.. Last nite i didn't cry.. but whenever mama or me thinking bout her, i started feel like i wanna cry and my eyes water a bit.. Ahhh.. xsbarnya nak tunggu 44 days.. so that i can be home with her.. Hehe..

Since Ted can't sleep whenever he switched bed / place, i make peace with the fact that he might not be sleeping in Gombak or only once during weekend.. So, we make an arrangement Iman to alternately sleep with me or him.. Huhu.. 13 days done, 31 days to go... Huwaa.. now time is slowing its pace.. ;p

Urghh.. i miss Lil Iman.. She's at school and will be coming to Wema's place this evening.. :)
Take Care Lil (Kakak) Iman :)  Haha.. i still called her baby.. i guess, i will continue to call her baby until she felt she's old enough for me to stop calling her baby.. :)

Alhamdulillah... Lil Bun is Out! :)

Alhamdulillah... 6th Sept 2012, our Lil Bun was out.. Hehe.. He was definitely a bun with 4.03kgs :)

I'd started missing carried him around in my tummy.. huhu... 

I was supposed to check in the hospital on the 5th to have an induced delivery (betul ke nih terms die) on the 6th.. But, at the very last minutes i chickened out... Hehe.. so, we didn't go to the hospital on the 5th nite, thinking to let the Lil Bun decide when he wanna come out... And of course.. He decided to meet us on the 6th.. Semuanya ketentuan Allah kan... Dah tertulis his birthday is on the 6/9/2012 (terbalik from mine ~ 9/6)..  

Say hello to the Bun... Shall write more about the story later..

Now, baby is still in the hospital due to jaundice.. Alhamdulillah the reading has been lower 10.7 today than yesterday (14.6). Hopefully, tomorrow can discharge.. Miss u my Bun :)

Lil Bun :)

Good Luck, Take Care & Be Good... Till We Meet Again :)

Ajim @ Terengganu :)

Yesterday Azim, my youngest Bro had left to the USA.. He'll be in Pennsylvania State University for 4 years until 2016 for Degree in Engineering... We went to sent him to the airport yesterday.. i dunno it's so sad & hard to watch him left.. huhu.. maybe it's because he's the first sibling going to further study overseas and the fact that he's the youngest one. And it's Raya this Sunday, some more! As expected, i cried.. hehe.. i cried again this morning.. & i hardly slept last nite, counting the hours until he touched down in London (for transit) so we can communicate again.. hehe.. He'll be in Heathrow around 2pm today (M'sian time), and transit for 8 hours before heading to Philadelphia.. I'd miss him already...

We used to play & watched power rangers together when he was younger, albeit our 11years old gap... huhu.. How time flies... and now if he couldn't come back to Malaysia within these 4 years, we'll be going to the States for his convocation in 2016.. InsyaAllah.. Whooa.. that's such a long time.. 4 years.. Fuhh.. nevermind, we have skype & viber to communicate.. and FB of course! Hi Azim!!! :D

Azim, you make us proud, especially Mama & Papa... Please take good care of yourself, study hard & smart, travel a lot & be good :) (most importantly, dun involved in any rally/riot/tunjuk perasaan/demo jalanan held by some people yg nak mengaut keuntungan politik) Hope you like the planner book we gave u & use it wisely.. Hehe..
Iman says "Pak Busu naik aeroplane, babai busu.. Aeroplane kecik je macam bird :)" all the way from KLIA to home.. Even at Hj Tapah when we stopped over for drinks she can't stopped mentioning that.. hehe..

Take Care Azim.. Till we again one fine day...
Luv & Miss you, Achik :)

update: I text him yesterday, asking whether he'd arriving at London. He replied. He'd arrived, it's 7am and he send Salam to all of our family... :) Feeling die macam dpt msg dr bf zaman moda2 dulu.. hehe.. funny.. Miss u lots Bro :)

Happy 30th Birthday En Ted :)

Today ~ 7th August 2012, My lovely hubby - En Ted turns 30!
Hehe.. yeah! We're even now. You're also an Ajushi like me.. hahaha.. :P

Anyways, I just want to wish you happy birthday...

My man :)

You're our greatest gift from Allah :)

Thank you for being a great & understanding husband.. You meant a world to me :)

Thank you for being a great, caring, tender & loving Papa to Iman & InsyaAllah to our Lil Bun.. You're their Superhero :D

Sure we had our rough time, but Thank you for always patiently be there for me.. Ngeee :P

You're sure my better half.. Hehe.. for reminding me who am i and believe in my potential..

I loved you, Am Loving You & Will always Love You..

Your cute wife (haha)